Posted in Social Issues, Uncategorized

A note on the state of my Insanity

Note this is a two-part blog. The first part written at one time, from one perspective, then the second part written after something else had happened to change the perspective.

Part 1

One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

The problem with that definition, isn’t that it isn’t true, but that it sometimes takes a hard knock upside the head to realize that you are doing the same thing over and over again. Circumstances can make you think you are doing different things, and not recognize the common theme within them that has you using the same pattern to yield the same result.

I uncovered this recently in my attempts to resolve miscommunication. I have blogged, rather spectacularly, the miscommunication with my dental receptionist and how my discovery of a technological goof that left both sides with a different memory of what had last been communicated — nothing that was the fault (no blame) of either side — had ended up with the receptionist deeply offended at my conduct, and kicking me out of the office, trying to place the blame for this incident squarely on me, rather than skip the need for blame and resolve the actual medical issue at hand.

What I haven’t talked about is a second incident that occurred recently. While dealing with someone at a temporary employment agency a similar miscommunication occurred. He offered what we thought were three confirmed positions for work the next week, for which each of us would receive communication about pre-job screening tests.

What he actually offered was to put our names into a pool of people being considered for the jobs. So when we didn’t hear anything after three days, and the job was to start the next day, we asked where the e-mail with the information on the screening test was. He said he would send them. Only one of us got the e-mail, because he had reduced the pool down to one, but we hadn’t understood that yet. So we spent five more hours trying to correspond to him that day asking for the other e-mails, until it was finally clarified to us that only one of us was in consideration for the jobs.

So after I got done with my screening, it was after work hours, and I called him on his cell number to explain how we had spent hours trying to track him down, wasting both his time and ours, when if the communication had been clearer we could have saved both of us time and effort that could have been used more constructively for both of us. We wanted to figure out how to prevent such a misunderstanding in the future.

Instead we were accused of trying to place the blame on him for our losing time trying to find jobs elsewhere. Once again, our attempt to resolve a miscommunication, that required no placing of blame, turned into a strident need for the other party to place blame on us, in this latter case blaming us for trying to blame him, while we were NOT trying to blame him for anything, but figure out how we misunderstood in the first place.

The part of this that is driving me insane, is trying to understand what is wrong with my original thesis: Why is the placing of blame so important in these situations? Or what am I doing that makes the counter-parties so intent on having conflict and placing blame? Should I be going into confrontations with the intent of placing blame on the other party in order to find no-fault no-blame resolutions? Is expecting to find no-fault communication errors itself a communication error?

Part 2

The surprising part is the next morning we went all prepared to discuss the situation with the agency guy, and he was apologizing for the miscommunication, and everything worked out all right. So I wasn’t insane, at least not for this reason. Misunderstanding was clarified as it is supposed to be. No-fault communication resolution does have a viable future.

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Posted in Family, Social Issues

l’chaim

Greetings! Those of you who have followed this blog, for various reasons, may have seen the post I did in March 2018 when I edited my regular schedule for the postings on various days of the week. You may also have noticed that my daily posting fell apart this past year due to the irregularities of my life and health. On March 1, 2108 I announced the start of my Sabbatical. With the beginning of 2019 I have determined that sabbatical to be over and as of tomorrow will be starting a new and slightly revised blog schedule.

One change is that on Mondays I will no longer be writing about fitness, but health, which can mean fitness, but touch a lot of other subjects, mostly personal but also linking to whatever level of health I choose to make it.

But the biggest change is going to be on Tuesdays. The day is going to be a review of items of interest I found in blogs and other places on the internet over the past week.

  • Sunday: Great Hymns of the Faith — I am working my way through the hymn book of my childhood. I put up the text, and record and mp3 of me playing and singing (sometimes with other family members) the hymn.
  • Monday: Health — Discussion of health and fitness topics related to my own personal journey or observations I make about health issues around me.
  • Tuesday: The Swift Précis – Bits of Blogs and Items of Note from the Internet.
  • Wednesday: Great Hymns of the Faith — Another installment of the series I mentioned on Sunday
  • Thursday: A Look Ahead. –– A list of interesting events going on and coming up that I know of and may be involved in.
  • Friday: A Blast of the Past — Putting up pictures from the family photo albums, with reflections on them and my file.
  • Saturday: Reflections — The open mic day to comment on any topic I choose to, from any field. A combination editorial/essay/apologietics piece.

But today, of course, is Saturday, which makes it a reflection day. The past year was to be a sabbatical between one job and another, between one career and another. But by now I have decided I have had enough of careers. What I have wanted is a life. Careers have blocked my life, have segmented me into ways that others want things.

This past year has not gone precisely the way I would have chosen. There are a lot of things I would rather had not happened. Yet I am glad that I had this past year, to actually have a life.

There have been struggles getting my two offspring launched into their lives, and I hope they find lives, and not careers. There was the time I was dangerously close to making the same mistake, in seeing a workplace as a career/life, but Worlds of Fun quickly disabused my mistaking them for a family or a life — while I enjoyed my experience there overall, Shelby that one day made it very clear to me that Worlds of Fun is just a job. One just has to buck it up and do what one needs to. I hated what she did that day and thank her for it.

So I am no longer searching for a career. I will work, and have jobs, but the need to have a long-term job is no longer of importance to me. Having a life is.

2018 was also the year I almost died. People didn’t take me seriously when I said that, and I don’t think they do even now. I keep getting asked if I am alright. The answer is NO, I am not alright. I am still having issues that the medical profession will not take seriously, and keeps deflecting into other areas instead of paying attention to the things I need to tell them. I am not even sure that my family always takes me seriously in the times and ways that I insist are needed. But that, ultimately, is life. You aren’t taken seriously unless you fit within the framework of what people expect.

Well, I am not in the framework of what people expect, and I am going to continue to not be in that framework, and people are going to continue to not take me seriously.

And I am going to continue to have a life, instead of a career, instead of a straight jacket.

l’chaim

Posted in Events, Reviews, Social Issues

Kearney on Foot

After being kicked out of the dentist’s office I hoofed it (on foot, down the main street in front of the dental practice). Motion kept the thoughts moving and the pain at bay, as I tried to decide how to get myself back into the dentist.

I began by Googling other dentists in Kearney. Perhaps I could talk to one of their offices, and get one of them to contact my dentist. Surely the brotherhood of dentists talk to each other, some sort of professional rapport?

Well, I failed on that idea. My first Google address took me to the center of and intersection where there was no dentist, so i went to Kearney Vision Care, where I saw the lady we always expect there who gives us cheerful, friendly and competent service. She has been there for years and I still don’t know what her name is.

She asked how my day was, and I said not their fault but wasn’t going well. Got kicked out of my dentist’s office, and would she be kind enough to help me find another dentist in Kearney.

She found me two: one up the street and one across the street. Both of them had the same packed schedules as my dentist, so no getting in, and no, their dentists didn’t talk to my dentist, or any other dentist.

So I went back to the lady at Kearney Vision and asked if she could look up the Kearney Chamber of Commerce. Maybe I could get someone there to talk to the dentist. That was located all the way on the other side of Interstate 35. Inside one of two banks. I checked at the wrong bank first, because it was closer, and got to the Chamber of Commerce at last.

Turns out my dentist isn’t a member of the chamber, so they couldn’t do anything there. But they did suggest the CVS Minute clinic. That was a walk all the way back to Jefferson Street where Google tried to send me to the dentist that wasn’t.

I filled out the autoform at CVS but the lady didn’t check me in. Said she didn’t see anything bacterial, and couldn’t do anything for dental. So I picked up some gum numbing agent and tooth shield and then called Betsy and told her to head back to the dentist’s parking lot, where they were, by chance, leaving for lunch. The dentist talked to Betsy and gave us an appointment at the end of the day.

Posted in Family, Fitness, Reviews, Social Issues

2018: The Year I Almost Died

That, actually, is a headline all of us could legitimately use for every year we lived in and didn’t die. The truth is, we don’t know all the small and large things happening around us that brought us just the smallest distance from death, both accidental and intentional, by people’s moves around us. Most of them accidental, of course.

But I am ending 2018 with the knowledge the an employee of my dentist of 20 years let the personal inconvenience I might have caused her in getting to her long weekend on time lead her to lie to me and not inform the dentist that I had stopped by with a serious dental problem that turned out to be a serious dental/sinus infection that could have spilled over to infect my brain by the time their office was open for business 6 days later.

If I hadn’t spent the next three hours wandering around Kearney, MO on foot looking for anyone who could advise me or treat my condition, being turned away from three different dental practices that were themselves booked full, and being told by a CVS minit clinic that they couldn’t help me on a dental issue, even though it involved my teeth cutting and gashing my tongue open, only to land back at the dentists office just before they left for lunch at 1 p.m. (their last appointment of the day turned out to be 2 p.m.) I never would have known that they had never discussed my issue with the dentist.

All of this is so very disjointed. Perhaps I should put a little chronology in place.

Ever since moving to Missouri in 1997 I had been the patient of Dr. W.R. Reed DDS, since he had been the dentist of my wife and her parents from when she lived in Missouri previously.

My kids went to his son-in-law, Dr. Kevin C Allman DDS, who shared the office with him, though not the practice.

Somewhere during the past couple of years, without any announcements being made to us, Dr. Reed took breaks for surgeries, and ultimately retired, and we found ourselves as patients of Dr. Allman.

During that time frame we had moved from living near Kearney to living near North Kansas City, but continued our journeys to Kearney for Dental care and also eye care, which we have and continue to have with Dr. Barry Bowles, O.D., of Kearney Vision Care.

While we have had nothing but good care and service with Kearney Vision Care, our dental care has become more problematic. The four day a week dental schedules have proved trying at times, as has getting any contacts for emergency dental care when teeth have cracked or fallen out. In the past couple of years my wife has dealt with teeth where fillings have fallen out, leaving sharp edges that gouges her cheek and tongue so it was impossible for her to talk because the effort caused her tooth to rip apart her tongue. That required a wait to get into the dentist’s schedule. And it required my struggle with the receptionist to convince them to get her in.

During one of those episodes Dr. Alman had mentioned that a sharp edge could be smoothed off with a piece of fine sand paper. So when I started having issues with sharp edges on a tooth of mine, I started using the fine sand paper from a bicycle tire repair kit to take care of the issue. I certainly didn’t want to wait to get into the dentist’s office.

So we had me taking care of my own sharp edges, which seemed to work. And during this timeframe I continued to have the issues I usually do with biting my cheek or lip, though sometimes I wondered if they weren’t getting more prevalent. Dr. Reed had at times smoothed teeth out to prevent this, and it had seemed to help, but dental checkups are months apart, and a lot can happen in that timeframe.

During the past month, say between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I seem to have an eruption of both sharpened teeth, cheek biting, and a sinus cough that seemed not excessive but incessant, and often interrupted my sleep for hours. I sanded my teeth more and more frequently, and during these weeks ended up with a gash in my tongue that made eating a chore to prevent irritating it. At one point it seemed I was sanding teeth on all sides of my mouth until suddenly things seemed better, except that the gash was there.

This lasted for a few days, and then suddenly, right at Christmas, it wasn’t sharp teeth everywhere, but as-if all my teeth had decided to move and slant inwards so my mouth became too small for my tongue to fit into it. It wasn’t too bad on Christmas, but by the day after I could not swallow or eat anything without my teeth abrading my tongue and irritating the gash near the place where I had smoothed the most serious of the sharp edges. And even though the edge wasn’t sharp, it hurt my tongue like skewers to have it touched anywhere near the gash.

Since my dentist would be closed Friday, and not open again until Wednesday for New Years, I decided to see how I was on Thursday morning.

It was worse, so we ran an errand for the kids at 9 a.m., which took longer than intended, and then called the dentist’s office, while on the way (though the receptionist did not know we were driving there as we called, my pain and anxiety over my condition being that severe). We were greeted with an its too bad sort of tone to the greeting that told us they were fully booked. To which we asked if the doctor could be talked to for advising on what to do about the pain. I had already given my name, and the receptionist asked me to give a number I could be reached so they could talk to the doctor when he had a break from a patient. To which I gave my phone number that they had on record, and heard the phone hang up without any pleasantry of ending.

So we continued our drive to the doctor’s office. My wife stopped off in the bathroom on the way in, so she didn’t see receptionist glare at me when I stepped up to the window in the office. When she finally said anything to me it was “why didn’t you call me back?”

“Because you told me you would be calling me back.”

“But you never left me a number.”

“I did, and then you hung up on me.”

“You hung up on me.”

“I gave my entire number and then the phone went dead.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Ah, I see, there was a misunderstanding, I gave my number and was certain you had gotten it, but your phone disconnected before you heard it.”

“Why didn’t you call me back.”

” Why would I call you back when I thought you had the number?”

“But you didn’t give me the number.”

“Yes, I can see this was a misunderstanding.”

“Why didn’t you call back?”

“I couldn’t call back when I thought you had the number.”

“You should have called me back.”

“I admit it was a misunderstanding. Does it matter whose fault it is? Can we just ask the doctor to advise on what to do.”

“We don’t have any openings. You should have called back.”

“Then I will just sit down over here until the doctor has a moment to advise what to do about my condition until he has time to look at me.”

When I went to sit down I was told there was no reason for me to be staying around. That they had no appointments. That I should leave.

When I wailed in pain, to match the volume of the receptionist responding to me, “why are you sending me away when I am in such pain!”

She said I had to leave at once for yelling in an office and upsetting their patients. I knew I couldn’t win that one — they would call the police for not leaving their private property, as they had the right to do. But since my wife had arrived near the end and not said anything. I told them I would leave, but asked her to stay and wait until the doctor could talk to her.

But they wouldn’t let her stay, and the hygienist said should would be afraid to be in the same room with my wife.

So I left while my wife also left and called back. The receptionist talked to her in a condescending tone and told her she would talk to the dentist and get back to her once he had a break from a patient.

Three hours later they hadn’t called either of us. I could detail what I did in those three hours, on foot, trying to find someone to help me. But the important point is that I finally wasted my efforts and had my wife join me back at the dentist’s parking lot. Where the dentist and staff just happened to be leaving for lunch at 1 p.m., and the basically the day, since they were closing early, without having said anything to the doctor, and definitely not calling us back about anything.

Dr. Allman talked to my wife, because I dared not talk to anyone lest they make good on their earlier threat to call the police on me. He told me to come back at 2:45 after his last appointment.

When he did examine me it turned out not to be my teeth that had moved, but my tongue that had gotten so enlarged that the pressure made imprints of my teeth on the edge of the tongue. And he could see the gouge in the lower right of the tongue that had a mirroring inflammation on the left side without an apparent gouge or reason. So he prescribed a pain opiod and an antibiotic even though he wasn’t sure there was an infection.

He had asked me what hurt, and I had told him I couldn’t tell whether it was the tongue or the teeth or the gums at any one point. But I can tell you now that I know that the inflammation and congestion in all my tissues that is was all three and my sinuses as well. My filing of the tooth might have eliminated the source of major irritation, but not before it let something in to infect my systems, and went through all of my tissues and cavities. The tongue became a roadway for something.

And that receptionist’s concern with getting out on time would have allowed me to suffer through 6 more days of buildup, if I was fortunate enough to last that long, or realize that I needed to get to the emergency room before all those overloaded systems in my head dumped over and overloaded the protection for my brain or some other equally vital component.

When I finally got the prescriptions later that evening from the pharmacy, and started to feel the effects spread through my system, by morning the swelling was down far enough in my tongue to not have jabs of pain every time I swallowed or tried to eat something. But it also let me feel the other places in my head where the infection and pressures had penetrated, and still give me moments when I cannot mentally form words, and have problems putting things down to writing.

Is my title claim to this blog dramatic? Yes, Is it hyperbole? No. Is the likelihood of my actually dying a stretch? No. Was the percentage that high? Probably not, but it definitely was a plausible possibility. And the pain and misery that would have occurred in any of the cases is definitely sure, and definitely was preventable.

I shouldn’t have had to risk the threat of being hauled off by the police to get my dentist to take a look at an urgent case on his steps that took him less than 15 minutes — less time than the receptionist took trying to avoid doing something about it. The real tragedy, beyond the one I described, is that she actually took more time trying to save time by allowing me more pain (I have yet to describe my 3 hours running around Kearney, or what else ensued during my day), than she would have by offering me the minimal service I should have been able to expect.

All this to say, I need to go to that dentist again. But I cannot stay with him. I cannot use a dentist who will allow his staff to mistreat a patient so, and to accept care from people who I cannot trust to treat me in a safe and humane way.

Posted in Family, Social Issues, Writing

Weather Wether Whether

Definition of weather

1the state of the atmosphere with respect to heat or cold, wetness or dryness, calm or storm, clearness or cloudiness
2state or vicissitude of life or fortune
3disagreeable atmospheric conditions: such as
a rainstorm
b cold air with dampness
 to weather

in the direction from which the wind is blowing

Definition of wether

a male sheep castrated before sexual maturity; also a castrated male goat

Definition of whether

used as a function word usually with correlative or or with or whether to indicate (1) until the early 19th century a direct question involving alternatives; (2) an indirect question involving stated or implied alternatives 

  • decide whether he should agree or raise objections
  • wonderedwhether to stay

; (3) alternative conditions or possibilities

  • see me no more, whether he be dead or no
  •  —William Shakespeare
  • seated him next to her whether by accident or design
 whether or no or whether or not

in any case

  • they’ve only been married a very few weeks, whether or no
  •  —Thomas Hardy

 

 

 

Based on the above three words, the weather has been making it unsure whether we would finish staining the deck anytime soon. Thankfully, no wether was involved in the process.

The weather cooled down on Wednesday, so I sprinted through the second half of staining the second coat of red stain on the vertical boards, and then did a full first coat of clear stain on the horizontal boards.

Thursday the forecast called for cloudy skies, with rain starting around 4 p.m. So I got up and from 7:30 to 8:30 a.m. put on the second coat of clear stain. The rain started at 9 a.m. Now it was whether the rain would wash that second coat off or not.  The stain was supposed to be resistent to rain after 4 hours, not 30 minutes.

Yet most of it stayed, enough that I mopped up the puddles Friday morning, let them dry, and had a third coat on by noon.

We had the deck furniture back out on the deck by  4 p.m., and at 7:30 p.m. began staining the underside (the people I talked to said you don’t do the underside, but the instructions on the stain can say, in small print, “for optimum performance, coat all accessible sides,” so I am going to follow my original gut to do the underside, since the stain company agrees with me.). At 8 p.m., after completing the underside of the one set of stairs, we started down the main deck.

I got about 5 feet along the first spacing between support braces, when I ran into something i couldn’t see, and a wasp flew by. I instantly backed up and called for Nathan to do the same. It took us awhile to locate it, but there were about  four wasps helping us locate the nest. We extricated our supplies, since the wasps were not interested in us, yet, and planned to come back after dark.

So the wasps determined whether or not we got much of the underside done. But we did spray that nest, and checked the rest of the deck to assure there weren’t any others.  The decks, and stairs, have been especially appealing to wasps this year.

So weather determined the timing and whether we got the deck staining complete. We have completed all necessary for immediate use and enjoyment, but whether we get the underside done anytime soon, to assure the longterm health of the deck, remains to be seen. Saturday is work, and over 95 degrees forecast.

Posted in Politics, Social Issues, Uncategorized

Don’t mess with Pinky and the Brain

PINKY
Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?
THE BRAIN
The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world

They’re Pinky and The Brain 
Yes, Pinky and The Brain 
One is a genius 
The other’s insane. 
They’re laboratory mice 
Their genes have been spliced 
They’re dinky 
They’re Pinky and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain 
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain 
Brain. 

Before each night is done 
Their plan will be unfurled 
By the dawning of the sun 
They’ll take over the world. 

They’re Pinky and The Brain 
Yes, Pinky and The Brain 
Their twilight campaign 
Is easy to explain. 
To prove their mousey worth 

They’ll overthrow the Earth 
They’re dinky 
They’re Pinky and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain 
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain 
Narf!

They always say not to discuss Religion and Politics at work, or in polite society. What they forgot to mention, is don’t malign a favorite cartoon character/cultural icon in public either.

Actually, now that I think about it, they can discuss their trash talk politics all they want, and malign anyone i’m for, and that won’t really get me.  But don’t misuse my cartoon heroes.

My example is someone who has not disguised his concern and disdain over Trump as president, so when he made the below post to his social media site, I knew it wasn’t intended as a compliment:

Trump and the Brain…”What’re we going to do tonight, Brain?

Now I could care less about what he is meaning to say about Trump, but how dare malign Pinky so!

I am sure he is thinking of the line in the theme song:

One is a genius 
The other’s insane. 

And is thinking that Pinky is the insane one. But the astute follower of the show knows that this is really less clear than you would think. Why Pinky himself, in an online interview, when asked which was which, the genius and the insane, said: “Well we all know the answer to that!”

Which really means that it isn’t as obvious  as it seems. Why do Brain’s schemes always crash, and Pinky’s almost succeed until Brain goofs them up? Sure, Brain has all the knowledge, but when you watch closely, Pinky is the one who really understands things.

So I decided to try to gently make them reflect on the positive nature of Pinky when I responded:

I am glad to see you are finally mellowing on Trump. To make him the likable, companionable, genius sidekick that saves the world from domination by an insane lunatic each night.

The reply was “umm”

Others followed his comment by saying the Brain was Russia. By that score, I would see Trump as the best friend of Russia that prevents them from taking over the world each night.  What a win-win political scenario!

No, you just can’t mess with, or try to twist Pinky and the Brain. Its like when the bully tried to pick a fight we me on the school bus back in fifth grade. He expected a quick fold on my part, not that the awkward windmilling, peaceful farm boy would put him quickly to tears. Neither did the bus driver, who was ready to let me get whooped, but not him.

Oh, its fun to talk politics, but don’t get yourself in a knot over them. While important, the metaphors of real life, like our cartoon heroes, are much more important to defend.

 

Posted in Social Issues

Yellow Deli: Beautiful ambiance and graciously nutritious food, but also a religious cult?

On our visit to Chattanooga recently we encountered the Yellow Deli. We enjoyed the food, the music, and the service received. The decor had Hebraic references, and the 24/5 opening schedule made us think of a Jewish background. It also had an influence that would remind us of the 60s hippie movement.

But we never thought it would be the controversial group the below article details; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve_Tribes_communities

Even so, here are some pictures of the decor that so enthralled us:

And here are some nighttime exteriors: